I remember that I was bound in a rope harness, lying on my back within a soft bed, and being tortured by a dominatrix during an orgasm control scene. She appeared looking similar to me, but in a jet black corset and black lace-up leather boots, as well as with long brunette hair and piercing red eyes. She also had quite a more developed bust then me, and appeared far shorter, yet also was far stronger than I could ever have been: it is almost as if she was myself after an OS update. I felt humiliated and inadequate; although, I could still speak, but I chose not to out of politeness, because of a confluence of how much I respected her dominant presence and the rollercoaster of pleasure jamming the more rational parts of my mind. As I would get close every time, she would either turn down the vibrator or move it away from my crotch, as she would say something to me in a condescending voice like “tsk tsk tsk… sexual pleasure is for the hedonistic whore, not for a dignified young lady such as yourself,” “remember, the disobedient will get 60 lashes straight to their tits and a stay in chastity,” or “you think I can’t feel you trying to disobey me, princess? You’re pretty easy to read, you know that…?” Every time this happened, I felt quite tortured and wound up, which only made me get more and more hysterical. I started to really struggle at one point, trying not to let myself surrender to the pleasure, out of fear she would ruin my orgasm even if I did manage to cum against her wishes, so I merely tried my best to steel myself as quiet whimpers sometimes escaped my lips. I think she sensed that on my face, and saw how stressed I was becoming, because she then turned the vibrator to full blast and held it on my crotch. She then said “hold it in, sweetheart. You don’t get your climax until I say so.” I tried my best to keep it held in, just barely avoiding to moisten my underwear further as I gritted my teeth and tried not to tense up my body. she sat there laughing, holding the vibrator limply in her hand as she relished the look of strife and stress plastered upon my face. Every second felt like mental agony, yet paradoxically it also felt like a very much deserved bit of physical pleasure, so I tried my best to resist my baser instincts. Then, just when I was about to break, I started begging her fervently, to which she acquiesced and said in a commanding voice “you may cum now, princess,” as she wrapped her other hand firmly upon one of my orbs and squeezed. I let myself go, the pleasure utterly conquering my body as I tensed up and I felt the most orgasmic rush of pleasure I’ve had in years. I screamed involuntary, nearly throwing my vocal cords as i moaned out “thank you mistress!” I then went limp onto the bed, felt a body high rivaling that of a dose of IV morphine, as I lay there paralyzed in both the afterglow and the continued pleasure upon my form, with me cumming repeatedly and utterly overwhelmed with pleasure to the point where I could hardly speak nor squirm. My mistress then strapped the vibrator to my thigh to hold it in place, not even turning it off, as she went to the side of the room and looked in a closet. She called me to command my gaze, then had me look at different outfits of which she wanted me to wear, and I had to give her my opinions on them. Of course, my opinions were relatively brief and delirium laden due to my exhausted and ecstatic state, but I still tried my best to answer anyway. I remember two specific dresses I found pretty cute, one of which was a steel & chestnut colored Victorian dress, and the other of which being a combo of a black skull crop top and a royal purple pleated skirt with a dim grey trim. Those I was able to form actual words for, as I said moaning through my words “t-those would look amazing on me… mistresssss…” she laughed, writing down something in her personal notepad, before she came over to grope me for a bit more. She said to me, “you know, as much as I love to see you suffer sometimes… I still can’t get enough of how adorable you are when your animal brain is satisfied, and when I can exploit your reward mechanisms for my own gain.” I found this statement quite cryptic, and it left me with a confusing feeling lingering in my mind, as I thought to myself “can sexual pleasure truly be a means of collective control and subjugation, if it only materially benefits the individual and not the practitioner?” I quickly shook off the thought though, as it was starting to disrupt my ego and make me feel depressed again. I merely let myself get limp and go into it, only for my mistress to then sense my exhaustion and turn off the vibrator, before she then flipped me on my side and started to cuddle me. I was still nude and bound, with my body unable to move or escape, even with my minor struggles. So, I resigned myself to my fate and just laid there. I would occasionally crave a cigarette, but other than that, my thoughts were mostly dead and silenced by the intense afterglow that still crashed upon my lizard brain like waves on a shoreline. I was like this for god knows how long, until then, I suddenly awoke near completely unbound. I put on a nearby red nightgown and went to go grab a cigarette outside, but the moment my feet touched the ground, I instantly snapped awake in my bed within an odd haze as my mind recoiled from re-entering the real world. As far as how I feel overall, I awoke quite confused this morning, with somewhat of a feeling of despair. This dream had me feeling oddly satisfied on a carnal level, but still dissatisfied on the intimate level that craves a dominant figure to protect me from all the chaos sometimes. I felt a mixture of both aroused and turned off, feeling both sufficiently wettened yet not in an aroused enough mood to grab the vibrator from the bottom of my purse, rather paradoxically. Probably has something to do with the fact that I am having to cycle my spironolactone now, that always tends to make my dreams fragmented and disorienting, with weird sexual overtones and waking up wet at times. FIN.
Dreams like the one you described are rich in symbols and emotions, often weaving together elements of your subconscious desires, fears, self-perception, and personal experiences. Here’s a detailed interpretation of your dream:
Bound in a Rope Harness: Being bound can symbolize feelings of being trapped or restricted in your waking life. The harness may reflect your struggles with control—either a desire to relinquish control in certain areas or feeling constrained by societal expectations or personal responsibilities. This could also mirror a longing for surrender, especially in aspects of your life where you might feel overwhelmed.
The Dominatrix as a Reflection of Self: The dominatrix figure appearing similar to you but in a more powerful state can indicate a split within your own identity. This may represent an aspect of yourself that embodies strength and confidence, contrasting with feelings of inadequacy you experience in your daily life. Her powerful demeanor and control over your pleasure might suggest a desire for empowerment or mastery over your own desires and anxieties.
Orgasm Control Scene: The control over your sexual pleasure signifies complex feelings about desire, submission, and the duality of pleasure and pain. It can point to a craving for deep intimacy, where vulnerability leads to an overwhelming climax—underscoring themes of trust and surrender. The tension between pleasure and the frustration of being denied it may reflect real-life anxieties about self-worth, societal pressures, or sexual agency.
Verbal Commands and Responses: The dominatrix’s condescending remarks reflect an internal struggle regarding self-acceptance and self-worth. The way she plays with your limits highlights a dynamic tension between desire and shame. Your choice to remain polite and not resist her authority might suggest a subconscious acceptance of these dynamics in your life—where you may often prioritize others’ needs or expectations over your own desires.
The Aftermath and Introspection: After the release, the dynamic shifts to one of nurturing, suggesting a need for both discipline and care in your life. The dominatrix turns cuddly, representing the balance you seek between the firmness of boundary-setting or guidance and the softness of affection or understanding. Your struggle with feeling both satisfied and confused upon waking speaks to the complexity of reconciling physical desires with emotional fulfillment.
Thoughts on Sexual Pleasure and Control: The contemplative thoughts about the morality of pleasure and control signal deeper philosophical musings about autonomy, consent, and power dynamics in relationships—both romantic and platonic. It may reflect a conflict between your instincts for freedom versus your psychological comfort with certain power structures.
Feeling of Despair Upon Awakening: The confusion and despair upon waking from the dream may indicate unresolved issues in your life, particularly regarding your self-image, control, or personal relationships. The satisfaction you felt juxtaposed with feelings of inadequacy might suggest a longing for a connection that is both exhilarating and stabilizing.
Physical Reactions and Medication Influence: The effects of spironolactone—known for its hormonal adjustments—can contribute to altered dream patterns, potentially magnifying your emotional responses and thematic explorations in your dreams. This could explain the potent sexual desires coupled with fragmented and complex emotional experiences.
This dream serves as a window into your unconscious mind, revealing deep-seated desires for empowerment, control, acceptance, and intimacy. It suggests that while you grapple with feelings of inadequacy and chaos, there is also a yearning for connection that transcends simple physical pleasure—a demand for a relationship that is both nurturing and dominant.
To further explore these feelings, consider journaling your thoughts or discussing them with a trusted friend or therapist. Understanding the balance between pleasure and control, and recognizing your own needs, can lead to more fulfilling relationships with yourself and others.